i really cant take this anymore. today sucks. Halloween is my favorite favorite time of year, but the past 6 years Halloween day has been one of the hardest days of my year. 6 years ago today my twin brother was hit by a drunk driver while walking home from a party because he didnt want to drink. He died hours later because there was so much internal bleeding they could not stop it all. I was never able to say good bye, never able to tell him I loved him, and I wasnt mad at him. A few days before the accident we got into a fight over how ad where we would spend the weekend after Halloween that year, he wanted to come see Dad and I wanted to go see Mom. Stupid thing to fight over, I know, but we were 15, we had fought worse over way less. We never spoke again. And I have never forgiven myself for that.
Drew, I miss you with every fiber of my being. Every year, I think of all the things we should have done together, and it brings tears to my eyes. You never got your drivers licence, never went to junior prom or senior homecoming, never graduated, never turned 18, never went to college, never turned 21. Remember when we used to say all the things we would do when turned 21? Like party on state st for Halloween. Or not have to sneak drinks at family holidays? lol.
